my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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