I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
