He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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