Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
