VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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