no, he came in my armpit
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
