please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I touched a dick in church today
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
