"it" just moved
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Someone came in the potted fern
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
