omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
