haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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