Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
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