If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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