We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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