she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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