You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
