i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
