apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
