Ambien. No doubt about it.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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