Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
