Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
