Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
