worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
MIDGETS
????
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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