He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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