so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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