Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
