Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
