I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
