Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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