No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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