Got a toothbrush?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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