I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
