it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
