So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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