you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize