once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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