Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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