whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
