Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
