even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
