all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize