Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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