She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this boner is exhausting
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
