I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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