He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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