Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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