I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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