i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
bring money and cleavage
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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