yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
