the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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