Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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