Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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