I must be too annoying 4 u.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
