There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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