I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
