hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
