let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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