She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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