I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
