Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
