even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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